..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
