Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
