it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
