So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
