I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
