I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
