Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you inspire me to be a worse person
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
