i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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