brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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