I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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