there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I see more hoeing in ur future
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
