if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
