I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
