ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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