OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
