that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
