Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
