Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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