Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
