is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
