stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
