do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
