I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
