She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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