I will die if light touches me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
