Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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