Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
