My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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