Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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