Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
