I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
