She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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