I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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