I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
