How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
