i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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