At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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