I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
