glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
