Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
