I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
