hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
