but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
