what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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