I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
