He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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