Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
