But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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