Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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