either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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