Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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