i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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