Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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