it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
